Looking at dresses is actually a great first step. It allows you to get a vision of what kind of bride you are. If your style is modern, romantic, or minimalist, this could also help shape the vision for your wedding day. Vera Wang thinks so too! (http://xovera.verawang.com/newsletters/16)

But what’s next?

Aside from the dress, you also need to think about nuts and bolts. The sooner the better! This way, you can have a leisurely, enjoyable planning experience. This is certainly where a planner can help you if you need it. My recommended first steps are:

1. Make up a budget. In your excitement, you might start buying and booking things, and then discover later that you have very little money left for everything else. This is what we need to avoid. Though it’s not necessarily “romantic,” have the conversation about who is paying, how much you, your fiancé, or your families can contribute, and determine what amount you realistically have to work with. It’s good to start your married life with complete clarity as far as money is concerned, so have that conversation up front to avoid stresses later.
2. Remember the extras. The venue, photographer and music are easy to remember. But don’t forget to allot money for all the smaller things: invitations, postage, tips, gifts, hotel rooms, travel, etc…
3. Create a timeline. Make a written timeline that includes everything you’ll need to do. When you need to book photographer? Have your tasting? Find an officiant? Have first fitting? Yes, there’s a lot to do, but you don’t have to do it all in the first month. Spacing things out will keep them fun and interesting.

In my first meeting with couples, I help them layout these steps. If you’d like support in your planning process, I can help you get organized, keep you on track, and make sure you have an enjoyable planning experience leading up to your wedding day.

Until next time…

Yes, when it comes to gifts, the most thoughtful ones are the best.

With weddings, the same rule applies … it’s the thought that counts most!

A well thought-out wedding (even on a small budget) can produce a far greater enjoyment factor than a hasty, last-minute wedding (even a big budget one!).

Give yourself, and your guests, the gift of your wedding day. Your wedding day can be a gift to yourself, your fiancé, and your family and friends. Let your guests experience being part of your marriage and celebration. They will remember and cherish it! By providing that inclusive, thoughtful experience, your wedding day will be even more special to you as a couple, knowing that you’ve created a meaningful experience for everyone involved.

Here are two tips:

1. Take time to create special moments. The more your wedding reflects you as a couple, the more you let guests in to your celebration. But this takes time. You need a timeline, a plan. When will you decide on each element? In which order? Instead of trying to do everything at once, good time management will give you the headspace to create perfect touches.
2. If you’re giving a favor, don’t let it be an afterthought. What you’re giving as a gift should be something that you love giving to your guests. Make that heartfelt as opposed to an afterthought. Those little things at the end can become obligatory, especially if you’re overwhelmed. With a proper timeline, you’ll have time to take care of the big and little details, with plenty of time, and you’ll have room to enjoy each moment.

As a wedding planner, I love brides to be able to enjoy the experience of their wedding by finding the perfect details. If you need my help, I’d love to talk.

Until next time…

Now, shouldn’t your wedding planner be able to “fit” you as well as your dress?

I think so.

That is why I’ve shaped my business to be flexible.

Every wedding is different. Every bride and groom will need a different level of involvement from a wedding planner. And in order to create the best wedding, I believe my offerings should be based on the individuals.

Here’s an example: Recently, I got a call from a bride-to-be’s mother. She told me that her daughter needed help, but already had a lot of stuff in the works. She just needed to talk things through with a professional, discuss strategies, and get some expert input. They hired me for the day, and together, I helped them put the pieces together.

Tip: You can hire a wedding planner to get as involved as you need them to be! You might not need a structured package—and you shouldn’t settle for one. When looking for a wedding planner, ask yourself what kind of involvement you’d like. Do you want a wedding planner to:

• Come to all appointments with you, be involved in every choice and decision?
• Meet you in-person and on the phone at regular intervals?
• Meet with you for a day, or a few days, to help you shape your day and choose the right venue and vendors?
• Simply sit with you to plan a timeline?
• Handle day-of event management?

I have worked with clients in all of these capacities—because that is what they needed.

And sometimes, they weren’t sure what exactly they needed—until we spoke on the phone.

Ask for what you need. Just because a service isn’t listed on the wedding planner’s website, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for it. Here’s what I mean: I had a bride that wanted day-of coordination, plus design help. But, she could only afford the day-of portion. Because I knew exactly what she needed, I was able to give her partial day-of (9 hours instead of 12), and five hours of design consulting for the price of the full day-of. We made it work!

If she hadn’t expressed her concerns and budget, I might not have had the chance to work it out.

For me, it’s about how I can best help the client—not how much I can sell them.

Finding the right fit with a wedding planner—is just as important as it is with the dress. And if you’re a bride-to-be, I wish you the best in finding both!

Not sure what you need from a wedding planner? I’m happy to help you figure it out. Then, we can see if we might be a good fit together.

Until next time…

This point was vividly obvious, recently, when Hurricane Irene came to town. And my client had a wedding planned—on the day Irene was scheduled to hit the New York area.

Two days before the wedding, as the weather reports made it obvious of impending hurricane force winds, flooding and transportation shut downs, we knew the day, as planned, would not be possible. If we tried to go ahead with the wedding, it was clear that most guests wouldn’t have made it.

We decided to move the entire event to the following day.

I didn’t want my bride to be stressed. I sent her to get her nails done while I handled these details:

• Speaking with guests to help them change flight reservations
• Mapping alternate driving routes for guests based on road closures
• Getting extra hotels, changing hotel reservations
• Calling all vendors, working with venue, coordinating a reschedule
• Adjusted deliveries, appointments
• Being the main contact person amidst the weather-induced chaos

People hire a wedding planner for the little, and big emergencies you can’t foresee.

My bride’s job is to keep celebrating while I handle the sticky stuff. I know that most brides don’t want to be calling their lost Uncle Charlie when he can’t find the church, finding the missing flowers, collecting the bowtie that got left behind, or keeping her drunk brother-in-law from toppling the cake over.

Tip: Sometimes a venue has a “bridal attendant” to assist the bride. They’ll tell you that you don’t need an outside wedding planner. But, a lot of the planning and support happens before the venue! Your venue’s “bridal attendant” won’t be around when the limo doesn’t show up and you’re running late for the church.

P.S. The wedding turned out perfectly.

I was delighted that even Hurricane Irene didn’t keep my bride and groom from having the beautiful wedding day they had waited for. When Irene was approaching, they were overwhelmed and ready to cancel the whole thing. By having me there, as a calm, focused voice-of-reason, they had the day they planned – with just one day’s difference!

Until next time…

Weddings get intense. When you’re in the thick of it, and everything is coming together, unexpected things come up all the time. As a wedding planner, I prepare for the unexpected more than the expected. Why? Because on the wedding day, I’m tending to the bride’s emotional needs as much as the logistical ones. I want my bride to be fully available to experience her marriage.

When little things crop up, like a blister for example, it can detour the day if not addressed immediately. Little incidences can take away from the big picture—so as a planner, I’m on the lookout for anything that can detract from the day or cause a bride anxiety. I stay prepared for mishaps … not just the big ones, like a cake getting knocked over, but the smaller ones: a tear in a dress, a stain, a mosquito bite.

I want my bride to be on a straight path, to emotionally and physically walking up there to get married. On such an emotionally charged day, a little stress can escalate into a bigger one. I take away as much as possible, and stop problems before they start. My emergency kit is one of the ways I do this. Here are just some of the items in mine:

• Aspirin
• Bandaids
• Benadryl
• Blue rhinestones/heart stickers
• Dental floss
• EpiPen
• Feminine products
• Granola bars
• Handheld fans
• Nail polish
• Hair pins
• Immodium
• Razors
• Saline
• Sewing kit
• Safety pins
• Shout wipes
• Sunscreen
• Tape
• Toothbrush
• Toothpicks
• Water
• White out

Here’s an example of my emergency kit in action:

Recently, one of my brides was walking through a screen door, and grease got on the front of dress. I reacted quickly, called on my arsenal of supplies, and with tiny toothbrushes, Shout wipes and handheld fans, got it all out. The bride was relieved, and something that could have been a disaster, was quickly fixed by an emergency kit.

I focus on making the day seamless for the bride. I don’t want her to worry about anything, or have her sidetracked by something that I can handle for her. Some say you can never be prepared for the unexpected, but our motto is, we certainly do our best!

Until next time…

1. Give yourself more time. We are used to the busy pace of the New York, New Jersey metropolitan area. People who live elsewhere—simply aren’t. Especially if you’re considering an island wedding, most islands I’ve worked with operate at “island pace,” and it’s a lot slower than we’re used to. Whenever you’re dealing with a destination, there’s always a time barrier, and there can be a communication one too—whether it’s a language barrier, or something just getting lost in translation over the phone or email. Communication needs to be extra precise, triple-checked, and reiterated constantly to make sure everyone is on the same page. Vendors and venues at destinations want to please you and make your day perfect too—but it can a little longer to get the ducks in a row. Emails can take two weeks to respond to, and you need to allow for this extra time so you can go at their pace, and ultimately get the relaxed wedding you crave.
2. Have one point of contact. To avoid any confusion, and keep all the plans flowing smoothly, it’s imperative to have one person as the liaison. If one person is handling the venue, while another is handling the travel arrangements, and yet another is handling the ceremony, there is room for things to fall through the cracks. With one person in control, the event can come together cleanly.
3. It’s about the travel too. Remember that the travel creates a lot of anxiety for some people. In order for it to be a beautiful wedding that your guests will fully experience and enjoy, the travel is part of the experience. It starts for them from the minute they get on the plane. Anything that can be done from that point on—to ensure them an enjoyable experience—should be done.
4. Where’s Aunt Martha? You don’t want to suddenly realize that Aunt Martha is missing as you sit down to dinner, only to discover her flight got delayed for 6 hours. The details are essential, and managing them before they become an issue is important. Have someone in charge of travel, who knows arrangements, arrival times and special needs. Have an English speaking liaison meet guests at the airport, make sure they have their luggage, deliver them to the hotel and check them off the list. Otherwise, people can fall through the cracks. Plus, your guests can have immediate needs upon landing (diapers, water, headache tablets) and with somebody there to handle that (think emergency kit!) will make their arrival smooth.
5. My room has no hairdryer. At the hotel, have someone making sure your guests’ rooms are perfect, and if there’s a problem, provide that point of contract so they’re not trying to speak to hotel about it. Something as insignificant as a missing hairdryer can turn into an emotional situation if there’s nobody there to handle it promptly. The last thing you want is a guest coming up to the bride, groom, or mother-of-the-bride complaining about not having a hairdryer! With a point of contact, your guests will feel like they have a personal butler, with somebody taking care of them and their unique needs. The entire trip will be more luxurious, it will quell worries, and they will be emotionally available to partake in the whole experience.

Remember, a destination wedding is a vacation—as well as a wedding. That’s why you do a destination wedding, right? To remove people from the daily pace, and spend time with guests, really relax, enjoy clam bakes, balmy beach soirees, relaxed rehearsals, ceremonies and vibrant receptions. The whole point of having several days is to have a full experience, and with the proper planning and implementation, you will, and your guests will too.

If you need help planning your destination wedding, I’m here to help.

Until next time…

Almost as important as the planning—is keeping the peace, not only with vendors (link) but with demanding mother-in-laws, bratty bridesmaids, show-stealing sisters and boozy brother-in-laws. Emotions seem to escalate around a wedding. Drinking fuels the fire, and people get stressed and anxious. I work to eliminate the stresses so their sparks don’t ignite a powder keg –and so all of this heightened emotion doesn’t affect the bride and groom.

My job is to be the buffer, the problem-solver, and the peace keeper—ensuring the bride and groom have the day they’ve dreamed of, instead of a dealing with drama.

I’ve seen it all—from mothers-in-law who’ve insisted on wearing white dresses, to uncles who need to have their drinking monitored, to cousins who’ve thrown tantrums about not being included enough.

Every situation has a peaceful solution—and a dramatic one. I aim for peace. Here’s an example:

Situation: Recently, an Aunt got upset about where she was seated. She wanted to be switched, and was ready to confront the bride and groom (who had intentionally seated her there).

Solution: I stepped in and smoothed the situation over by saying, “I’m so sorry, it looks like we had a seating issue. Please know the bride and groom would have never done this to insult you. I hope you accept my apology.” She said it was okay, and proceeded to enjoy herself. Sometimes people just want to be heard—and many times, I can be that ear.

I value my role as peacekeeper, advice giver, and drama-stopper, because sometimes the bride and groom need more than just a planner, they need someone to keep the harmony among all the personalities involved.

In my career, I’ve found that negative emotions are best managed with love, concern, and attention. I have no problem apologizing, and “taking the hit” to keep things harmonious. Sometimes, I even play the role of “bouncer” for the bride and groom.

If you need a wedding planner/peace keeper for your upcoming nuptials, please get in touch.

Until next time…

I was an actress for a long time. I graduated from Carnegie Mellon and worked non-stop from minute I got to New York. It was a crazy, fast-paced lifestyle and I loved it. I was on Broadway, and I traveled a lot with national tours and regional theatre.

When I met my husband, I’d been in show business for 20 years. I started to crave something different. Something bigger than just me. I wanted a real solid home—and a family.

We got engaged, and hired a wedding planner to arrange our wedding.

Then I fired her.

Why? Because with 6 weeks until the big day—nothing was done. Not even a florist had been secured. How could this planner be so unprepared? How could I have let this happen?

My mom and I did everything in a weekend. It was like a recon mission, and we tackled it. We planned a nearly perfect wedding, with only 6 weeks left.

The day was beautiful—but there were certain instances where I wish we had someone guiding us. I wish we made a little speech, but we didn’t have anybody reminding us. And what about the presents? We hadn’t planned a way to bring them home.

That’s where a planner would have been helpful.

And this is when I got the wedding bug.

I started spending time at the Wedding Library, learning everything I could about weddings, reading books, and looking at portfolios for photographers, florists, caterers, invitation makers, and musicians.

Soon, they hired me as a wedding planner. It was intense, and the experience I gained was incredible.

A few years later, I moved to New Jersey with my husband and worked at Vera Wang. During that time, I got to know New Jersey, tracked down the best vendors, made relationships at the most sophisticated venues—and decided to go for it. I started my own wedding planning business, An Affair to Remember.

I’ve been a wedding planner for 10 years, and I love it immensely. Weddings are like really good Broadway productions, only the actors are real people, the emotion is real, and so is the joy.

When I fired my wedding planner, it was devastating. But it gave me the motivation and direction to find my calling. To the wedding planner who I fired all those years ago … I couldn’t be more grateful.

Until next time…

Weddings are the same. You hire all of these great artists who have separate talents. When there are florists, photographers, musicians, videographers, linen companies, makeup artists, venue managers, caterers and bakers (just to name a few) — they need to be supported—so they can contribute their best part for your wedding as a whole.

They have been hired because of their talents, and I believe my job is to create the most ideal atmosphere for them to demonstrate these talents.

I do this by creating calm, giving respect, and helping them manage the logistics of the day so that they can give my bride their very best. How? By making sure they are happy and respected, and not treated like the hired help. Then they can be artists and not just workers. Extra paragraph

As a wedding planner, I’ve found that the ability to facilitate peace and harmony is just as important as organization, professionalism and attention to detail. I do this by creating calm, giving respect, and helping them manage the logistics of the day so that they can give my bride their very best. How? By making sure they are happy and respected, and not treated like the hired help. Then they can be artists and not just workers.

The wedding and the bride should be the star of the show. And it/she should be supported by the talents of the vendors. I make that happen. Some planners desire to be the star and create drama. I don’t. I will never make your wedding about me. I make it about the wedding as a whole, and about welcoming each part in the puzzle to create a beautiful production.

Today’s tip: For vendors to make harmonious music (instead of chaos), they need someone to help them do their jobs, and be the artists they are. Whether it’s me, or someone else, make sure there’s a good fit, and that your person treats vendors the way you’d like them to be treated.

Until next time…

Through my job, I have the ability to help remove a bride’s stress so that she can be fully present for her marriage—the truly special promise—where she and her husband-to-be stand up in front of friends and family to make an extraordinary legal, and soulful commitment. This moment should be at the forefront. This is why I plan weddings … So the bride can be fully immersed in this amazing moment—instead of worrying about logistics, wondering if the photographer knows which angle you want him to be shooting from, or diffusing the argument between Aunt Jean and cousin Patty.

This is why I plan weddings.

This is also why I’m starting this blog.

I want to share my experience, tips, and insight, and give brides a view into who I am as a person, and how I work. Choosing someone to plan your wedding is a very personal decision, and I think it should be based on capability and experience, as well as approach.

I’d like to put myself into this blog, so that when you read, it helps you get to know me. For me, weddings aren’t just a business, they are tremendously meaningful. I truly consider it a privilege to help my brides really experience their magnificent matrimony, and enable them to enter into marriage without worrying about the details of the wedding day.

I look forward to sharing with you through this blog. If there are any topics you would like me to cover, please let me know.

Until next time…